I Am That Girl
As a twenty year old I often times try to imagine exactly what my life will be like and how I want it to go. What I tend to overlook is where am I now and what has gotten me here. I am typically the person who doesn’t share everything with other people, although some might think I do. I was recently inspired by Alexis Jones and her book "I Am That Girl". I’m taking this as a chance to lay it all out on the table, who am I. If you’ve never met me or think you know me pretty well then stay tuned for a crash course on Ashley.
I am the girl who is unbelievably awkward yet pretends not to be. I was the one who didn’t have a set friend group in high school yet was friends with people in each clique. This has also led to me feeling like I have an immense number of acquaintances, yet no lifelong friends. I am constantly terrified of failure and judgment, from everyone. I like to think I’m nice to anyone, until they give me a reason not to be. Unfortunately, I’m also one of those girls who stayed too close to her ex for way too long after the breakup. Going off of that, I am also the girl that will defend those she cares about until the bitter end. I am a people pleaser; I have been accused of being Switzerland because I constantly try to make everyone happy. Yes, I know it is impossible. I had the pleasure of deciding between two outstanding Universities and have been riddled with the feeling I chose the wrong one. What I didn’t make the wrong choice on was the group of girls I associated myself with at the University I chose. I am also the girl that worries to no end, which led to me moving away from my closest friends. Currently, I am at a point where I have no idea where I am going, what I am doing, or what will happen. What I do know is I don’t really care anymore.
There are a lot of things that I didn’t list that make me who I am but I decided to share the things that cross my mind the most. While reading "I Am That Girl" by Alexis Jones I decided to stop being insecure about what makes me, me and embrace it. Jones provides a manifesto that I loved, my favorite part was “I remember to laugh more, stress less, forgive often, and inject love everywhere I can”, to me this is everything. By letting go of these fears I am allowing myself to focus on the good versus the bad. I am promising myself to forget the worries of “what if “ and focus on the “what could be”. I’ve never been one to shy away from my dreams and I’m certainly not going to start now. I am trying to chase my dreams and toss all insecurities out the window; I am that girl.